Turning 30 - what has changed?

Goodbye, 20-something!

As I promised in my last or actually my first blog post, I am going to elaborate on why this was a turning point in my life.

I am still not sure if it really has anything to do with numbers but something really changed. I felt the urge to do everything that I buried a long time ago when I was a teenager.

For starters, it was a hair color. My mother used to tell me that copper or any kind of red is an ugly hair color and whenever I tried to experiment with those hues she had bad comments about it. Next on my list was blond which I wore for ten long years.

It's not about hair color at all I think as I love both blonde and copper, it has more to do with the things "I wasn't supposed to do or be".

The time has come to be exactly what I wasn't supposed to be and to do the things that were not smart to do.

So I dyed my hair copper and had no regrets.

The only thing I regret is that I didn't do it many years ago. Again, my mother didn't like it, but this time, it wasn't important what anyone else thought except for me.

By the way, my husband thought I was unhappy with our relationship (which was totally wrong as I couldn't be happier about us at that point) and wondered what was happening inside my head.

Another big thing for me, the biggest I would say, is that I started to sing again. When I was a kid I used to sing all the time. Used to spend hours doing it but nobody was there to point out that I should try to become a professional musician.

Nothing kept my attention as singing did. My dad loved music and played a guitar but he wasn't there to hear me up until I was around 13 years old.

My parents divorced when I was 7 and I didn't see my father for a couple of years. Even when I started seeing him again I didn't get the approval up until I turned 30 believe it or not and that was even when he didn't know that I started taking lesons again and doing it, but when he said "it's not a coincidence that you could sing so beautifully, we were all given some gifts and yours was that." I started to cry (not in front of him). I waited so long to hear that from such an important person in my life.

Of course, there was also my sister with her famous saying:

"The world is only waiting for you."

This had to take a special place in the post. It made such a nasty scar even though she didn't mean to hurt me. I know she only wanted what was best for me but I was just a kid with a dream.

My mom was the only one who was proud. Then again she was proud of me whatever I was doing. I remember her going around and telling her friends how good I was at this and that.

Love you Mom forever.

Funny thing is that my sister also recently said "Oh you used to sing so good. If only you were singing something more commercial." When I heard her I couldn't believe what she was saying. I was like "Are you kidding me?!". She also didn't know I started to sing again.

So I got myself the words I had waited for so long. I didn't expect to get them but they came anyway.

As I was saying, I started to take singing lessons again. At first, I went to see my old professor but she couldn't help me with my main problem. Soon I was lucky enough to meet such a special person who helped me a lot with my technique.

Not the best quality but it had to be this photo because of the special guest as he is always there when I sing.

So this is my little working sweet spot. It's still work in progress but it's cozy enough for me to get some work done as I am that kind of person who is not ably to work in a "not inspirational enough" space.

I started to love myself

I started to love my body even though I gained weight in the last couple of years. I love my body the way it is, not meaning I don't want to lose that extra weight just that I love everything about it.

That wasn't always the case. I used to think my legs were too skinny so I started to build more muscle mass in my lower body which led to gaining weight because of poor mental health and bad food choices.

Even though I knew what and how I should do it, I couldn't control myself around the food. One thing led to another and hello extra 10kg. That one is also a work in progress, losing it, not gaining more. I will be writing about the whole journey in other posts.

As there were many other shifts, they were really worth mentioning and I wanted to share them with you.

I would like to hear about your experience with a big 30 on a birthday cake.